...5/07/2008
...
LITTLE
BANG THEORY
click
to see larger
Acrylic &
oil on gessoed panel. 8" x 10" (20.3
cm x 25.4 cm)
Orientation: Up to the viewer
Another in the series of "MICRO-PAINTINGS"
created with powerful magnification glasses
and the tiniest brushes available.
Completed in Los Angeles on 5/6/2008
This painting symbolizes
the creation of my "tiny universe".
It is a rendition of a bright mili-second burst
of inspiration before it culminates in the creation
of an idea. A bright and explosive germ of an
idea! The first flash of synapse and neuron!
The tiny explosion which is the beginning of
a series of electronic agitations which culminate
in a plan!! A plan of how I might re-invent
reality in my art, and so also in my life!
Because of my
chemical make-up, God, Fate or total randomness,
I wish to live in a world apart from most other
people. I live in a world that I have managed
to create. A world apart from what I sometimes
refer to as the "unreal reality".
I live as far away as I can. (It's not easy!)
I sleep during
the day, and work on my art at night. I avoid
most human contact. I interact with my fellow
man with great reluctance. I spend most of my
time in my glorious studio! This is the place
that I love most. My space for creating things
and ideas! A place where I can think! It is
here that I keep my easels, my paints, my computer
and printers. It is where I write and paint
and dream and scheme. It is where I read and
wonder, admire and conspire! My sanctuary. My
mind turned inside - out!
Typifying my
nature is an obsession for cleanliness and order.
Ironically, I love to be surrounded by clutter.
However, on closer inspection, one will find
that this clutter is organized in it's own logical
manner. This is very much like my paintings.
I am fascinated by transparent and translucent
objects. These objects are very "CLEAN".
I collect these small things in my studio. This
is a secret collection. Yet, these objects hide
in plain sight. (Orbs, water drops, bottles,
light bulbs, paper weights, fuses and containers
of liquid) Some of these are in this painting.
I also collect
objects from the outside "reality".
These items represent feelings of the ironic,
contemptuous, and sardonic. (a mummified cat,
giant spider in plexiglas, tiny skulls, rubber
heads, animal taxidermy, photos of ridiculous
movie and TV stars, old dolls, puppets, teeth,
broken toys, dead fish, dried insects and human
remains) These objects are very "UNCLEAN".
These things serve as reminders that the world
they come from is a threatening, dangerous and
UNPLEASANT place. I am, of course, also fascinated
by these things. Some of these are also in the
painting.
You, the reader,
being of superior intelligence and comparative
wisdom, (as no one else thinks about, or reads
about my art) might feel well equipped, and
even anxious to interact with "Unreal Reality"
and all it's politicians, gangsters, psychopaths,
crooks, cops, idiots, drunks, misfits, yuppies,
beggars, thieves, horror stories, love stories
and sad stories … and I wish you well!
… but I'm sick and tired of the game.
So I choose to drop off and start my own! This
painting is the illustration of the birth of
that idea.
I'm not completely
unrealistic. I need money! So, as part of my
"not-so-brave new world" I choose
to include the internet. (And here I am!) In
this wonderful, (very clean!) electronic infinity,
I can trade the fruit of my mind for my daily
bread. This electronic data transfer is also
illustrated in the painting.
On the net I
communicate mostly with my like and kind. I
deal with interesting subjects, interesting
entities and an environment which is perfectly
clear, logical and ordered. The computer reality
is as clean and clear to me as the inside of
my translucencies, On the internet I can disseminate
my art, the ultimate diary of my existence,
written in pure metaphor, for the money I need.
This is truly a gift for which I thank fate,
or my chemical make-up, or God, or total randomness.
Thus, my "LITTLE
BANG THEORY" is a farcical rendition of
the bright beginning of a glimmer of an idea.
The sparkle in my eye blown up and painted in
my "MIRCO-PAINTING" style, using many
pairs of powerful magnification glasses and
the tiniest brushes I have.
~ RS
|
...5/1/2008
...
Dreamscape
sold ~ Bone
Factory sold
...
3/8/2008 ...
CRUCIFIXION
#001 (#2 in the series: EPITAPH)
Study ~ Size: 14 x 18" (35.5
x 45.7 cm.) ~ Acrylic on stretched canvas
click
here to see this painting
This,
(below) is a letter sent to me in rebuttal to my words
posted below (3/8/2008) ... and below it is my reply
to his rebuttle
Just to play Devil's Advocate
to this:
Vmaximus, your essay suggests that you consider any
and all and each and every problem, unhappiness, death,
disease and absolutely anything else to 'They' and 'The
Modern Age' as part of a 'global conspiracy'. You assert
that "They can take our rights away one by one
using the excuse that they are trying to protect"
us.
This is not a balanced and considered argument. It's
really just your assertion and that of the sources you
rely on, versus the word of the ill-defined and faceless
'they'.
Essentially, death, suffering and population control
have existed throughout all of human history, indeed
in masses of population sections. The world was not
the idyll you seem to be convinced it once was (prior
to the 50's). Certainly, there is no such thing today
as The One Hundred Year's War or The Black Death bacterium
killing three-quarters of the population of Europe,
which no doubt precludes a lot of pain despair and suffering.
I would also suggest that Despotism, Feudalism and religious
indoctrination were earlier, much less subtle methods
of control that were highly effective for centuries,
and nobody should be surprised when it continues today.
Finally, we must all come to realize that humanity as
a species is inherently selfish and fearful - if ever
it came down to it, it would be a rare person to choose
his fellow man over himself. Speaking for myself, were
you and I stranded on a desert island with no food I
would do my utmost to kill and eat you to stave off
death even a little, and I would have no regret at that
end of desperation; we are merely animals and thus have
the instincts evolved long ago in order to propagate
our species. It's hardwired in our DNA and there is
nothing anyone can do about it, except unethical corporations
in cheap sci-fi novellas. It's our finest and most effective
survival mechanism, and why we are the dominant species
on earth. It is why parents beat their children, why
people fight over cheating partners and why countries
wage war over resources. Your argument is one of an
idealist raised on romantic legends who's just had a
nasty shock when a nihilist has pulled the rosy curtain
away from his eyes, and now he must make a hue and cry
to warn all his fellows so that they can say 'I tried
to make a difference, but that bigger man over there
won in the end'.
Please do not be offended by this, I admire your skill,
passion and vitriol, but in the spirit of debate it
seemed necessary to play the mediator's part.
--
Chuckles
MY RESPONSE;
Hey Chuckles ~ I'm Not
offended. Argument makes our brain cells open. I try
to consider all that I say from every conceivable viewpoint.
Maybe I come off like a conspiracy 'nut', and I do not
site absolute evidence to provide proof for my arguments.
I'm not a scholar, (high school drop out) and I don't
consider myself as 'intellectual' ... but now i'm just
covering my ass ... ;)
I do consider all the ills of the human race connected
to overpopulation. Better put, I consider our ills connected
to our instinct for 'territoriality'. That goes back
to the apes that we have evolved from. And that is why
I believe that we are a failed experiment. In terms
of time, we are failing quickly.
My arguments are probably a 'bit' off balance, because
I am a bit off balance ... However, I still feel the
need to say my piece. Especially since so many people
refuse to say anything.
Yes, much of what I write about HAS existed in human
history. I hardly think that the years before the 1950's
were 'ideal' as you think I say.. However, that was
before the current mass extinction began. BIG DIFFERENCE.
I'm talking about NOW being unique in that finally,
the human race is reaching a 'TIPPING POINT', where
all we have done in the past is having an effect that
will kill us off. We are reaching our 'panicle'. We
are at the end of the food chain that we are killing
off.
Of course we should not be surprised when the despotism,
feudalism and religious indoctrination has been allowed
to evolve to NEW heights of infamy. THAT'S MY POINT!
Just because it's been going on for centuries to the
detriment of our masses, do you say it's justified?
You say that humanity is a species "inherently
selfish and fearful". YEAH ... i know. You made
my point. We are a brief, but unsuccessful experiment.
Hopefully nature will use a little more 'altruism' in
the recipe next time.
I'm not asking the impossible; That we humans undo our
instinctive need to survive. What I'm saying is that
our instinctive need to survive is the very thing that
will destroy us. How's that for irony?
We are too short sighted. We want "OURS" first,
at the cost of all others. that's why we will perish.
The aunts and termites have a better idea. They are
truly altruistic organizations. it is hard wired into
their DNA that the individual should make ANY sacrifice
for the good of the hive. I believe that THAT experiment
will outlast ours, unless we kill them all off when
we blow the fu-king planet up.
Oh yeah, that leads me to another BIG, HUGE difference
in NOW, vs BEFORE NOW: Now, and more so in the near
future, every nutcase psychotic religious group or individual
will have access to weapons which will not only kill
one person, but possibly ALL PERSONS. Nuclear proliferation
can not be stopped. There are several A-Bombs on the
loose already ... A few suitcase size from what I have
read. Anyone with a little "know-how"can mix
up a dirty bomb like Mom's cherry pie. (Hey, when i
was kid, the cherry's tasted WAY better than the do
now!)
So, what I'm really doing here is 'crying in my beer',
getting my feelings out. Externalizing my thoughts and
words. Unless otherwise stated, i have no irrefutable
evidence to site. So, take what I say with your grain
of salt. I'm an artist, and I use my 'artistic license'
;)
I see little real hope ... well, I do see one way actually.
I think it's possible that our machines can save us.
... But that's another entry I should get out there.
Thanks for the rebuttal! ~ RS
... 3/8/2008 ...
This painting was originally
intended as a 'study' for a larger more involved and
detailed painting. One I've been commissioned to create.
I've decided to continue my series of paintings which
began with my commission entitled 'EPITAPH' (click
here to see it)
My 'Epitaph' series of
paintings concern my trepidation and anger over the
changes I have seen, and see coming, in our world.
I need to express the horror
I feel as I watch our planet become a garbage dump.
I must express my disgust of those people who, in spite
of power and money, choose to make this situation worse
rather than better. I paint my dismay, as I watch our
rights as citizens steadily erode in the name of 'safety'.
I need to express my fear, (real or manufactured) of
looming destruction by war, weather, crime or disease.
It seems to me that the
planet itself has turned on us because WE have made
ourselves its enemy.
In the short time that
I have lived, I have seen SO MANY beautiful natural
things destroyed through foolishness, ignorance and
avarice.
Everyone with a TV knows
that GLOBAL WARMING is real. Even the a-holes who have
tried to deny it for decades, (all the time knowing
the truth) have been forced to acknowledge it now. Our
world is getting sicker faster than anyone wanted to
think.
These paintings are my
small attempt to make people think about what is happening.
I'm not sure we can stop it.
We are on the brink of
a world without hope of recuperation. This could be
the beginning of the end of the human species. OH YES,
I know, You've heard this ALL before, right? …
Don't be so fast to dismiss the possibility. Not when
the greatest minds of living generations are saying
the same thing.
Life has already ended
for thousands of species. The end of more living things
than has occurred since the mass extinctions of the
dinosaurs, 200 million years ago, (http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2001/05/0510_massex.html).
These extinctions are ON OUR HANDS. In many cases, these
are not extinctions, these are GENOCIDE'S!
How does this happen? One
example; Why would an Amazonian subsistence farmer be
concerned about the 'genocide of species' he commits
by burning down a plot in a rain forest when his family
is starving? WHAT WOULD YOU DO in his shoes? Would you
let your family die so that the Western world could
have new cancer drugs?
Until all people realize
that we are connected, I don't see how we can last indefinitely.
The human population continues
to grow at an alarming rate. We hit the first ONE BILLION
PEOPLE in the mid 1800's. (19th Century) Now, just over
100 years later, we are at 6.5 BILLION. By 2050, some
estimates show human population at 9 BILLION. THINK
ABOUT THAT! These 'BILLIONS' are mostly people living
in poverty. What can they do to make the world livable
for you or your children? … NOTHING.
The EARTH has been compared
to a living thing, called GAIA ~ (http://www.webcom.com/gaia/)
I agree that it does act much like a living thing. It
seems to me that the Earth will continue to do what
it can to rid itself of THE HUMAN VIRUS. The Earth will
continue to struggle against our onslaught, the way
a human body will call upon antibodies to fight off
a disease.
Based on what I have heard,
read and seen, there will continue to be an increase
in Earthquakes, Floods, Cyclones and Hurricanes. Extreme
weather conditions. This is being caused by GLOBAL WARMING.
If you have not read Al Gore's book: "THE ASSAULT
ON REASON" You should. Or at least see the movie.
He IS our rightful president, after all. And while you
are at it, watch the movie "ZEITGEIST": http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/
(FREE)
I feel like yelling; "HEY!
The f-ing ice caps are melting! WAKE UP!" Doesn't
that scare the sh-t out of you?!
New diseases are developing and mutating. A.I.D.S. is
the NUMBER ONE KILLER in Africa. The MRSA infection
now kills more people in the US than A.I.D.S. I have
never seen so much CANCER … and it seems like
every other person over 70 has DEMENTIA of some kind!
(Alzheimer's) IT DID NOT USED TO BE LIKE THIS!
Wars continue to rage.
Genocide continues to be practiced. Muslim Terrorists
plan to kill the infidels, while we western terrorists
continue to try to kill them. Religion against religion.
OUR GOD IS THE ONLY GOD! KILL IN THE NAME OF CHRIST,
ALLAH, BUDDHA, SATAN!
The "HAVE-NOTS"
are murdered by the thousands. No one cares.
What the FU-K, man?!?
By the way, Did you know
that male penises are growing shorter and shorter with
each new generation? Did you know that the Amphibians
are disappearing from the Earth? Did you know that it
rains human fecal matter in Mexico City? (it evaporates
up from open sewers and then rains back down on the
people)
I was lucky to be born
when I was. I have enjoyed all the fruits of the Earth.
And I am now leaving the young my sh-t and garbage.
Thank you VERY much! …"Please clean it up
now, won't you?"
The media is going to tell
you not to worry. OKAY, It's NOT a problem … Nothing
'we' can't handle. 'No worries mate' … 'CHEERS!'
… and in the same breath, they point out THE LOOMING
RECESSION, THE INCREASING MURDER AND CRIME RATE, IMPENDING
TERRORIST ATTACKS, RAPISTS ON THE LOOSE, DRUGS IN THE
WATER SUPPLY, CRACK ON THE CORNER, DIMINISHING IQ RATES
… But hey, It's all 'okay, as long as you don't
venture out of your 'prescribed comfort zone'.
They want you to believe
that everything outside your 'comfort zone' is VIOLENT
and DANGEROUS! … However, if you just stay home
and do your job and do AS THEY TELL YOU, everything
will be just FINE!
They want you GOOD AND
SCARED! We live in a society of FEAR. If 'THEY' keep
us afraid, then we are easier to control. (SEE; 'THE
CULTURE OF FEAR' by Barry Glassner)
Here's what I think: The
'media' is controlled by MONEY. Money is controlled
by those who would take what is left of the worlds resources
and hoard them for themselves and their kin. These are
the guys who wield their power to control what you see,
hear, and read … ultimately what YOU THINK.
It is their mission to
make you STUPID with the NEW OPIUM of entertainment.
They don't want you thinking or trying to do anything
about ANYTHING that might make them share what's left
of the 'GOOD STUFF'. They want you to shut up and do
as they tell you to do. They want to ENSLAVE you. And
in a few generations - THEY WILL.
'Entertainment' is the
'NEW RELIGION'. It is the new "OPIUM OF THE MASSES"
And we are being BOMBARDED with a new 'BLITZKRIEG' of
CRAP tailored made by psychiatrists, psychologists and
Propaganda Masters who are working for the media moguls,
who are working for the government, who are working
for the global corporations. The global corporations
run the world, and they want YOU stupid, satisfied and
pliable.
PLEASE NOTE: People who
you and I have never heard of DESIGN OUR LIVES for us.
This massive BLITZ of brainless
crap on TV. "THE MOMENT OF TRUTH", "SURVIVOR",
"BIG BROTHER" "PRISON BREAK" "LOST"
"DIRT" "WEEDS" "HEROES"
"AMERICAN IDOL" are intended to brain wash
YOU. (I watch too!) They want you TO LIVE IN A DREAM
WORLD. They want you to NOT TO GIVE A CRAP about Global
warming or War or Pollution.
They can take our rights away one by one using the excuse
that they are trying to 'PROTECT YOU'. Crimes are exaggerated
ALL out of proportion. We fear to walk the streets.
We lock your doors and hide in our living room watching
the TV. We are RATS IN A CAGE. ALL WE WANT is to be
left alone so we can enjoy your favorite show in peace!
Your life is worth less
and less. There is almost no 'MIDDLE CLASS' left . What
will be left when the middle class is completely gone
will be The HAVES, and the HAVE NOTS. Their attitude
is, "I've got mine ass-ole, so F-CK YOU!"
And speaking of the 'HAVES
& HAVE NOTS': Would you welcome the new 'INFO CHIP'?
Available soon in your neighborhood will be the "WONDER
CHIP" A tiny chip which contains all your vital
information and can locate you anywhere in the world!
This is a chip that can
be implanted under your skin that would hold all your
important health information, enable you or your children
to be tracked in an accident using GPS, … and
contain all your financial and bank records so you could
shop without cash or credit cards! Does that sound great!?
If your answer is "YES,
That sounds like an interesting idea" … YOU
SHOULD THINK AGAIN CAREFULLY.
When enough people accept
this new technology, all others will eventually be forced
to do the same. (Sort of like credit cards, but WAY
more imperative) When most people use the chip, the
people who control that chip will control you. They
will control your financial info and be able to find
you. If they want, they can 'disconnect' you from everyone
else. They can disconnect you from your money, accidentally
or deliberately. Think about that.
Don't take my word for
any of this. FIND OUT. Check it out. THINK ABOUT IT.
I'm like most other people.
I would prefer to simply 'live my life' and let 'the
other guy' worry about all this global warming crap,
war, mind control and overpopulation stuff. Unfortunately,
if you are under 40 years old … you WILL be directly
effected by what is to come. Your rights and freedoms
will go south for the nuclear winter. Your standard
of living will be slowly but constantly eroded. One
day you wake up part of a third world community living
as slave labor within a 'FIRST WORLD UNITED CORPORATION',
owned and operated by the greedy vampires who hold on
to the remaining wealth and power of the planet.
My series of paintings
will reflect my feelings and ideas. It's the best I
can do for now. If I can make a few people sit up and
think about it, my existence is almost justified. ~
RS Connett 3/8/2008
|
... 2/20/2008
...
EPITAPH ~ Size: 24 x 24"
(61 x 61 cm.) ~ Acrylic on stretched canvas
Click
here to see this painting
EPITAPH: Definition; "A statement written
about the death of a person. Often an inscription on a tombstone."
This is a commissioned painting. The collector asked me to paint
a human skull. Other than that, he gave me complete freedom
with the piece.
As I painted, and thought what
to paint, I began contemplating death. and my mind drifted to
the death of not just myself, but of all things. All the life
that has lived and died. The life that has become extinct on
Earth. All the deaths that mankind has caused and continues
to cause.
We are NOW experiencing the biggest
mass extinction the world has ever known*. We lose thousands
of species each year. This is a fact linked directly to man.
We are crowding everything off this planet as though we could
exist alone. I'm talking about plants, animals, insects, reptiles
… fungus, you name it. We will eventually be included
in the list. … Think not?
This is not some 'Hippie Bullshit'.
This is real. We are killing the earth. The greatest minds on
the planet agree that we are closer to annihilation than we
have ever been.
Read "THE ASSAULT ON REASON"
by Al Gore. Read "THE WORLD WITHOUT US" by Alan Weisman
… Read "HEGEMONY OR SURVIVAL" by Noam Chomsky.
These are not mad men. The mad men run the country from behind
closed doors and enslave us with entertainments.
Your religion will not save you.
Your government will not save you. Your TV, Computer, stereo
surround sound home entertainment system will not save you!
(nor mine, me) It's TOO LATE.
I have believed these things since
I was a teenager. I have been saying this for decades and writing
about it for decades … And yet, instead of devoting my
life to REALLY doing something about it, I've thought more about
my own personal life, and how I might best live through this.
I have been a 'dilettante' (a person who cultivates an area
of interest without real commitment or knowledge) when it comes
to my commitment to the life on our world.
I have contributed more then most
to the demise of our species. I have chosen to live a life of
comfort while I fully understand the implications of my choices.
I suppose that makes me more guilty than those persons who really
don't know what's about to happen.
Meanwhile, those who hold the true
reigns of power continue to suck the world dry, including me
and YOU, so that they might live like the GODS whom they do
not believe in.
Watch the movie "ZEITGEIST"
(http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/)
I have enjoyed the fruits of this
planet, and had to pay little for my pleasures.(as of yet) It
is young people who will pay. The things I have seen and experienced
are already gone. I remember clear waters filled with native
fish in forests filled with giant trees. These things are gone
now, replaced with our garbage and shit. What is left is fenced
in for the enjoyment of the few who control us.
I believe that the human race will
not go our in a blast, but in slow and painful agony. I feel
bad for you who do not know what the world was like before we
destroyed it. All I can do now is continue to paint and write.
The only contribution to sanity that I have made to this planet
is my art and my thoughts.
I see little hope. However, you may disagree. After all, the
first stage of the enlightenment of grim reality is denial.
Some people, perhaps most, do not move beyond this stage. They
will die still not believing that we all committed suicide.
* One exception might be a pre-historic
meteor hit that caused a ' nuclear winter', attributed to causing
the extinction of the dinosaurs.
... 2/8/2008 ...
To make Art is a basic, instinctive
need for the human animal. It pre-dates all language and civilization.
Interesting that it is seldom an occupation that makes much
money. Perhaps that is because we all can do it? Perhaps because
it can only be judged subjectively? Perhaps because it does
not serve a 'functional' purpose?
It seemingly has no purpose other
then to reach a deep yearning of the human spirit ... A deep
yearning to 'create', To externalize our ideas and to emulate
our visions of God. We want to create our own worlds, just like
God. We can not command the seas to rise or the mountains to
move ... but we can draw them any way we wish.
This need in us, so unique compared
to other life forms, is the basis of all the cultures of the
Earth. All that man has accomplished, the domination of the
planet, all has it's basis in or need to create art.
I am an illustrator of my ideas.
My art is the scratchings in pen,
pencil, paint, (and sometimes words) of a relatively normal
man, living in quiet desperation, slowly going mad on my way
to 'The stony lonesome", as my father used to call it.He's
there now. I hope he's not as lonesome as he visualized being.
Living as an artist is my dream
come true. I work 14 hours or s each day, and so far 'making
it' each month is not easy. BUT MAN, I'd rather be doing this
than ALL the other bullsheit I've done in my life leading up
to now.
My art is the kind that you might
stare into, and see many things, including perhaps yourself.
Your interpretation of this work is a direct reflection of who
you are. It is art of many meanings to all people. It is a mirror.
It is not 'ambient art'
Most of my work grows from a single
stroke. It is spontaneous. My need to paint and draw began as,
and remains a "catharsis". An unplanned way to express
feelings and thoughts. Thus, It is not an intellectual process.
Any intelligence found within these works comes from within
the observer, not the creator.
You either feel my art, or you
don't. If you feel it, take pleasure in it ... If you like it
enough, you should buy it. It is how I make a living. I am unfit
for any other occupation. So, I sincerely hope you will like
it, and buy it, and live with it.
Having 'ART' in your home is important.
There is a huge difference in the quality of life between those
who do, and those who do not. If you do not buy my art, I strongly
suggest you buy someone else's.
... 12/18/2007 ...
I should say that after too long
a time I have managed to revise the main exhibition pages of
the website. No longer am I featuring the name, "THE
VOMITUS MAXIMUS MUSEUM" for that is the old me. All
that was me before my life took a different direction. The slings
and arrows of outrageous fortune have changed me, as they will
change most of us, given the time. Many of the things I have
said I no longer believe. However, I will not change them. I
want the old VM Museum to remain as it was, for as long as possible.
A testament to my art and ideas from my childhood and young
adulthood. A 'diary' of sorts. I hope I have done no harm. I
also hope that some of it is interesting, and may survive as
interesting into the years that will follow. Naive and even
quaint as I was, and perhaps still am. All that I have done
and all that I shall do is for the world to judge. In a few
more decades all of this, and what I do now, will become my
epitaph. You can take a gander at the OLD me HERE.
I am now R.S. Connett. My website
is now rsConnett.com
... 07/18/2007 ...
INTERVIEW
Q: So, Mr. Connett, I would like
to start our interview with a question regarding the
classification of your art. Your art has been called
“Outsider Art”. How do you feel about that
“category” and your art being labeled?
RS: The works I’ve done have been classified by
others as “OUTSIDER”, “SURREAL",
"POP-SURREALISM" “LOW BROW” “PSYCHO-REPRESENTATIONAL”
and more. I don’t really mind what anyone calls
my art, as long as they have some sort of interaction
with it.
My art is many things. It’s whimsical.
It’s raw. It’s intelligent. It’s stupid.
It’s self-serving. It’s optimistic. It’s
courageous, strong, weak, sensitive, insensitive and
sometimes ludicrous. It’s the diary of my life.
My drawings and paintings are my children.
It’s my mark on this life. My artwork is the only
thing that might survive my flesh. That seems important
to me. Possibly these feelings are perversely instinctive.
In any case, my art is a story about me. It’s
honest, (as honest as I can be), and it’s also
full of little lies. Lies I tell others, and lies I
tell myself.
My art can be described as he ranting
in pen, paint and words of a relatively normal man,
living in quiet desperation, slowly going mad on his
way to his grave.
I like to think of myself as a "Psycho-Illustrator"
or a “Psycho-Cartoonist”, because that's
what I do. I attempt to illustrate the feelings and
imagery passes through my 'psyche'
I don't think categorization of art is usually a good
thing to do. I understand that if one is searching for
a ‘STILL LIFE’, you would not wish to waste
your time with an ‘ABSTRACT’ painting. However,
beyond that, any attempt to categorize art, is trodding
a dangerous path. Categorization of art, by trying to
profile it as a ‘TYPE’, is a dangerous distraction
from the art itself. This relates back to the problem
people have with art in general. That problem is; People
think they need to know what art is. As though there
is art that is art, and art that is not art
People who feel a need to classify art,
(beyond the very basic types which I have described
above) or have a need to “know” what IT
“IS” or “IS NOT”, are barking
up the wrong tree. Art is ANYTHING that a person thinks
it is. Art is something to enjoy and delight in. Art
is like snowflakes or finger prints. No two works are
alike. 'Artistic Continuity' may or may not arise in
an artists work. Much 'ado' is made of this by those
who make a living from the sale of an artists work,
BUT NOT from the artists! Those who search for money
leads them to art are more concerned with the money
than with the art, thus certain concerns such as the
'recognizability' of a painters art, something that
should not be an issue, becomes one. It's understandable
that we humans May choose to 'like' or 'not like' certain
art. However, don't forget that Art is the thing that
separates us from creatures who can not produce art.
Thus, any art we create defines our humanity.
To make a point, I will incapsulate
a poem I once heard; The first rude sketch scratched
in the Garden by Adam brought joy to his heart. But
as soon as it was done, the devil whispered in his ear,
'It's pretty, but is it Art?'
Q: Can you tell us a little about your
background?
RSC: OK ...About me ... I was born in San Francisco
in 1951. As I recall, my life seemed wonderful until
I started school at about age 5. It was there that I
began getting into trouble and realizing that the world
was not all good stuff. I was a violent child, always
in trouble. I was constantly being disciplined by the
school officials. I was often sent home , suspended
and eventually even expelled. My grades were poor. Terrible.
I failed everything. I never learned to spell of read.
(I learned these things later in life when I grew to
realize I needed to know them) Even though I failed
most subjects I was not held back. At that time, the
San Francisco public school system evidently could not
afford to hold me back. I was passed along, grade by
grade on a 'trial basis'. I recall having that held
over me every year. The threat of being sent back a
grade to the younger children was meant to serve as
an incentive for me to do better. Instead it just made
me more resentful. My anger was taken out on the other
children in the form of fighting. I was banned from
sports due to my temperament. I became a somewhat withdrawn
child, full of anger. I tortured small animals and insects.
I was expelled in the 9th grade and sent to a 'continuation
school' filled with teenagers who, like me were unable
to cope with the standard school system. At this age,
about 15, I began taking drugs. Secondary high school
did not work out well for me either. The one thing I
had was May drawings. At this time my drawings had become
my number one most important outlet for my raging feelings.
I'd been taught by the school psychologists and outside
head shrinkers that my drawing ability was a good way
to blow off steam. I liked doing it. This, of course,
is the basis of my ability to externalize ideas which
begin within me. This is how I became an artist. What
I am today can all be backtracked back to this time.
I would be nice to say that I took on the challenge
of drawing with full exhueberance and became a wonderful
artist shedding all my former difficulties, but this
was not to be. No, indeed not. Instead, I kept taking
drugs, getting into trouble and developed black moods
of deep depression and anxiety. I became sullen and
incorrigible. I dropped out of high school at the age
of 17 so I could take drugs and hang around in the streets.
My parents could no longer control me. My little 'rat
pack' friends began a full time occupation of dope smoking,
vandalism and self loathing. Many of my peers also became
criminals. They robbed pharmacies for pills and homes
for loot. I did not have the courage to participate.
Had I, I might have ended up in prison of worse, like
them. Instead, I pretending to be a hippie (which I
was not good at). I ended up in a hospital at the age
18 from a ‘light’ heroin addiction, and
a bout with hepatitis 'C' acquired from shared needles.
(There was no A.I.D.S. Around at the time)
I wandered aimlessly through three more years of life
in a black depression. I got away form my friends by
moving to Reno, Nevada. I knew that hanging around them
would drag me back into heroin addiction or worse. I
got a job as a busboy at a Gambling Casino and was promoted
to waiter, then to head waiter. During this 2 year stint,
I got clean of drugs. I was very alone. I worked and
came home to a tiny apartment. I still drew and did
a few paintings. I always kept that going. I always
kept my art going as a hobby, all through my life. This
was a very lonely time. Being a waited was a dead end
job. My father owed a small insurance firm in San Francisco.
He offered me work there as a receptionist. I went to
work for my father and became an insurance salesman
at the age of 22. I thought the job might last a few
weeks, then a few months, and before I had time to think
it through, I'd been working that job for 23 years.
I ended up my father out. I continued to run this business
until the age of 44. I was miserable doing this job,
but it brought me money. I had relatively speaking,
a lot of money. More than most. It was a good business.
My father gave me a good life by bringing me in on this
thing he'd set up. He was good to me in spite of all
I'd done to disrupt our family. All through these decades,
I did my art at night. My art was a precious little
hobby. The one thing in my life that was not ordinary
and shallow.
Though the insurance business was good to me, I loathed
it. Working with numbers and selling policies to people
was hopelessly lame. It was boring repetitive work.
The only thing I liked was spending the money. And I
did lots of that. A hopeless spendthrift, I spent every
dime, saving nothing. Other than lavish booze, dope
and food, I collected things. My home was a xxxxx devoted
to my things. I collected art and artifacts. My walls
covered with paintings and sculptures masks and oddities.
The only thing I really had going was my art hobby.
Other than that I was just a guy with money to burn
and (I thought) lots of time. Eventually my time ran
out, and one occurrence took all my 'stuff' and all
my money. Everything I'd accumulated in two decades.
Everything that I'd become in those 23 years was lost
in one night.
One July 3rd, 1995, my house burned down. I was drunk
one night and I passed out. I awoke to find myself in
the middle of a maelstrom of fire! I had no time to
save anything. I took in a hot breath of black smoke,
and ran for my life! I just made it out as the whole
place went up. I was not injured. However, everything
I had amassed over those 23 years was gone in an instant.
I lost my extensive art collection. I also lost almost
every painting I had ever painted. Luckily I had been
renting a space downtown. I used to throw little parties
at this place, and I hung some of my paintings there.
Because I had this place, some of my artworks were spared
the fire.
One very interesting note; Although my entire home was
gutted and essentially the fire destroy everything,
there was one closet that survived. In that closet were
my paints. Though they were black from the smoke, they
were still usable. I eventually cleaned them off and
some of those jars of paint are still being used by
me today, in my new studio. Another thing that survived
in that small closet were two bottle of drugs, one bottle
of valium and one of vicodan. This turned out badly.
After the fire, I went into the second most major depression
of my life. I once again became addicted drugs. First
to pills, (beginning with the two jars of pills that
survived the fire), and eventually to heroin. I was
45 years old and a junkie. My business went down hill
because I was to depressed to go to work. The person
I placed in charge while I took time off embezzled money
from me and blew town. I was forced to sell the business
for a fraction of its value, and the guy who bought
it eventually defaulted on his payments to em. 25 years
- and I ended up a middle age unemployed junkie.
I managed to kick the monkey off my back three years
later. (though one never really kicks these addictions
entirely) After ruining my credit by maxing out my credit
cards for drugs and rehab(s), I moved
out of San Francisco with my creditors screaming on
my heels, landing a job in Los Angeles at a friend’s
pornography distribution company (again, not a job I
particularly enjoyed, but glad to have it).
I have not mentioned the fact that I fell in love with
a wonderful woman. Something I never expected or thought
would happen. I always assumed I would be alone all
my life. The fates were good to me. In 1998 I got married.
In 1999 I declared bankruptcy.
In 2002 I left my position as general manager of the
porn film and distribution company, (Elegant Angel Video)
and drifted from one job to another, usually as a ‘consultant’
to small 'porn-oriented' start-ups.
I was thrilled beyond words to sell a few works of art
during this period. Finally I derived some income from
something I actually enjoyed doing! Thus, after many
adjustments, and with much help from my wife, I became
a full time working artist in 2004. For the first time
in my life, people were buying my art. The fact that
I'd not offered it for sale might have been par t of
that problem. Whatever the past, it did not matter.
I am now mostly clean of drug habits and making my art
for a living. For me, this is a dream beyond all dreams.
My wife and I built our home and my studio that same
year. I’ve been painting ever
since. I’m actually happy at times as an artist.
In fact, when I'm actually sitting at my easel, paint
brush in my hand, I'm in a state of mind which I can
only describe as 'happiness'. Being an artist has brought
me a happiness that I have never had. Before this I
was never happy. Only when I was drunk. It took me 50
years to find this. Better late than never. Q: I think
anyone who sees your work would be curious as to where
you get your ideas
and/or inspiration from. Can you tell us about that?
RS: I think my ideas are the ideas that most men and
women have. However, over many years I've learned to
pay close attention to the 'pictures' that appear to
my 'mind's eye'. When I was a child I was asked to dig
deeply into myself and find images which represented
my feelings. Then I was asked to try and represent these
images by drawing them. This is the discipline I developed
for my art. This is why my art is so much a 'catharsis'
for me personally.
That is the basis of my art, my attempt to draw and
paint the images that come to me. I think anyone could
learn to do this. Now that I have developed this ability,
I am often influenced by the many artists who I admire
and aspire to be like. I do have art heros. Many! I
won't try to name them all. I find new heros all the
time because I'm constantly searching for new artists.
Like life, my art is full of things that do not make
sense. My art is my diary. You could also say that my
art is a ‘dumping ground’ for my mental
debris. My art is a poem about everything that I do
and do not understand. It's how I lie, and how I tell
the truth, It’s about the few things in life I
think I do understand. It’s a way for me to blow
off steam. My art is a place where I can go and be anything
I want to be. My art is a place where I can do anything
I feel like doing. I paint my fear, sorrow, joy, regret,
love, hate, surprise, everything goes into my work.
Q: Do you prefer using
computers as opposed to pen and paper? I know that you
display a lot of your art, drawings, paintings and writings,
on the Internet. How do you feel about computers and
technology?
RS: Computers allow me to think about
what I want to say before I say it. I love that
because I sometimes say things in the “real world”
that I regret later. Thinking with my
mouth does not work out well for me. The fact is, I
prefer this new world with computers
to the old one. I do much better. I can be anyone I
want to be. My life online is more or
less an open book to both worlds. The best thing is
that I find people who accept me as I
am. People with intelligence and good hearts. It is
rare to attract such people in the old
world because frankly, you are exposed to so few people
in general. The online world
exposes you to thousands and tens of thousands of people
if you want - Or just a select
few if you prefer - YOU have more control here. There
is nothing to fear here. There is a
one-dimensional side to that, but for me, I prefer to
save that hidden dimension for
special individuals. My true trusted friends from the
‘real’ world can be counted on one
hand with several fingers left over.
Q: Do you feel that
art should have a purpose? Or is it merely meant to
be viewed and enjoyed?
RSC: What is the purpose of art if not
to express feeling, delight the soul, challenge the
mind, and satisfy the hunger for ‘SOMETHING DEEPER’
in the life of the viewer and the
artist? Art sometimes seemingly has no purpose. Yet
it creates a deep yearning in us. A
deep yearning to ‘create’, ... to record
our visions. Art reaches a deep place within our
humanness. We want to create our own worlds, just like
a God. We cannot command the
seas to rise or the mountains to move ... but we can
draw these things! And this need in
us, so unique as animals walking this planet, is the
foundation for all the cultures of the
Earth. All that man has accomplished, including the
domination of the planet, all has its
basis in our need to create art.
Art, in the case of drawing and painting, is a basic,
almost instinctive need for the
human animal. Art predates language and civilization.
And yet, in our day, it is an
occupation that does not usually feed or cloth the body.
Art does not sustain the body;
it sustains what we have called ‘THE SOUL’.
However, we question whether or not a
‘soul’ exists. If not, what are we feeding?
Why are we not like the ants or the wasps,
simple automatons working in altruistic bliss for the
good of the ‘hive’? Without a soul,
what does it matter to be an individual? If any act
of humanity can be said to point to
the existence of something beyond the flesh and blood
existence we recognize, it is our
art. I see this as a clue to the existence of a soul,
but by no means a proof. My art is
part of my search for my soul.
Q: What would you like
to say to your fans, collectors and patrons of your
work?
RSC: I am able to support “this
habit of mine” with the kind support of these
superior
creatures, my collectors. Those who take pleasure and
interest in my works. Much to my
extreme joy, my paintings and drawings are now being
collected worldwide. My original
paintings have been sold and shipped to almost every
country in the world. I have sold
just about every original painting and drawing that
I have ever done, except those lost in
a fire many years ago.
I’m thankful beyond words that my work has become
collectable after four decades of
relative obscurity. I have developed a following of
loyal collectors and supporters.
ART should cause you to see in ways unfamiliar. Art
is a special ‘treat’ like candy for
your imagination. Like a wonderful drug. Let my art
cause you to think, and to use your
mind. What do you see in my artwork? How does it make
you feel? It’s my hope that it
will touch you in a profound way. I hope that it will
carry you to a place somewhere near
where it takes me. Another world. At least, a short
respite from this one.
|
I hope you find some of these
older posts still relevant & interesting.
Please read on ...
... 03/29/2006 ...
Click to
see CRY BABY
I
started my painting, CRY BABY (LINK)
in April 2004. Put it down, and never touched it again until
the day I picked it up and finished it in March 2006.
The
first part that I painted 23 months previously was the central
figure. I immediately thought that this figure was a "CRY
BABY". So, whenever I noticed the canvas in my studio,
I thought, “Oh, it’s the CryBaby.”
My
habit is to work on many canvases and ideas simultaneously.
I work with up to 10 canvases always. My walls covered with
sketches, drawings notes and ideas. Canvases are everywhere
on the walls in many stages of completion. They are stacked
on the floor and piled up against the walls. Eventually, they
all will be completed. (Except the ones that exist unfinished
beyond my death I suppose)
So
one day, I spotted CryBaby, picked it up and I saw what it was!
It was still the CryBaby, but now I saw why CryBaby was crying.
It hated itself!
Then
I knew it would have a second name. That second name eventually
became; “The Ghosts of Self Loathing".
In
the beginning The tears were soft white translucents. I looked
deeper and saw that they were alive and wriggling. They were
not alive like the things of Earth are alive. They were spirits,
or ghosts. And they were crying too! These are tears that are
crying! … Why?
The
“CRYING TEARS” are the materialization of the affliction
of self hate that dominates CryBaby. This affliction is peculiar
to societies that base personal self esteem upon shallow values,
and impossible visions of perfection.
The
disease of self hate is spread by the TV sets, Movies, computers,
ipods, telephones, radios. All devises of communication, including
the human mouth. The constant bombardment of the unachievable
message that we all must achieve this impossible perfection!
(Become rich, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, witty, powerful
with huge genitalia and big expensive homes and cars.)
This
“perfection” is an absurd invention of the corporate
money machines, (The TRUE US Government) They have created a
‘reality of un-reality’ in order to control you.
These are the heartless and faithless corporations who believe
the purpose of man is to dominate without prejudice. They are
“Out of Whack” with the universe. You may work for
one.
Then
came the black cloud in the upper right corner. This cloud personifies
the media blitz that rains down the dark propaganda that turns
individuals into automatons.
These
raindrops are the subliminal messages from the psychic vampires
who rule our lives and dictate our destinies. These black raindrops
feed on your weaknesses.
The
snake is the lies we are told that makes us doubt ourselves.
The fire he spits is the fire that burns our minds and distracts
our thoughts.
The
insect represents the man who sees and knows but does nothing.
He is too afraid to speak. He believes the hype and may himself
eventually contract the disease of self hatred.
Many
young people see the truth, but soon forget. They are hypnotized
early, in formative years, by the temptations of this dark un-reality,
and soon play a part in the tragedy.
As
the painting subtly shows, it’s a deadly circle. And the
devils disguised as men, who send you off to die for them in
a hot and dusty hell, fly the world with jets like Gods. Our
flesh is their fuel, our souls their trivial jest.
The
Ghosts of Self loathing cause minds to be wasted, beauty to
dress itself in ugliness and lives to cease to live. ~ end
... 10/15/2005 ...
~
The CURE ~
This
entry is illustrated in my painting, “THE
CURE”, which was submitted as traditional art to DA,
(Deviant
art.com)on the same day as this entry, 09/06/2005. I hope
you will have time to see the painting in my
gallery.
For
anyone that wants to know why I started taking this drug, it
was to stop a crippling depression, that plagued me without
apparent cause. I think it worked, but can not be sure as I
have also self-medicated using other drugs simultaneously.
I
was fascinated when I read 1984 as a young man. However, I was
naïve, idealistic and optimistic enough then not to believe
it would come to pass.
It
took a few years more than Orwell predicted, but now these drugs
are here – everywhere. They “CHANGE” your
feelings in a subtle and insidious way. And, it seems to me,
they make everyone more and more, “the same”.
I
think in extreme cases of depression it may increase the quality
of life for the user. I think that’s good. Depression
is a terrible thing, which I know all too well.
I
feel somewhat qualified to comment like this because I TAKE
150 MG PER DAY MYSELF! Here are my observations as a test case;
I DID NOT wake one day to find my depression gone. What happened
is this; One day, about 10 days after starting the drug regimen,
I woke to find the depression, still very much with me, was
“compartmentalized” within the confines of my brain.
It was as though I had stepped away from my mental pain, and
could shut it up in a filing cabinet. I felt I could ignore
it. I was able to close the cabinet which contained the depression,
and go about my day to day mundanities.
However,
There are three NEW frightening things for me, that did not
exist before I began taking the drug;
NUMBER
ONE is that this seemed to further confirm the non-existence
of God. That a chemical could be introduced into me, and change
me SO much, seems to provide evidence that I am not more than
the sum total of my chemical components. In other words, I am
accidental. I am who I am because of the hap-hazard distribution
of the chemical makeup that “makes up” my body,
including my mind. All life then can be controlled by the scientific
manipulation of the chemicals and other components that are
what we are, which according to science, is EVERYTHING WE ARE.
The soul does not exist for science. It can not be located.
So,
does this mean WE are God? That we, through science have, or
will have, TOTAL control over our everythingness? That’s
like putting the inmates in charge of the asylum, huh? Since
I am terrified of death, I have trepidations over these thoughts.
It’s a little depressing to think that there is no reason
for my existence, and no reason for me to strive to accomplish
anything. After all, it’s all for naught. Life is some
sort of mistake?
NUMBER TWO; So, what scares me more than my own robotisum? The
thought of “running out” of the drug! It’s
just like I was strung out on Heroin again, only this time it’s
some psycho-active mind bending shit that will make me go stark
RAVING INSANE if I suddenly stop. Maybe hurt someone or go into
convulsions and choke on my own tongue or vomit and DIE A HORRIBLE
DEATH! Well, at least it’s legal!
I’ve
already felt what happened when I missed a few doses. I began
to become disoriented. I was paranoid and upset. It felt like
bee’s where buzzing in my head and through the nerves
of my arms and legs. I was angry and hostile. I had hot and
cold sweats, no apatite, trembling hands and nausea. If I’m
unexpectedly cut off from these drugs , like during an unplanned
emergency, (New Orleans), will I go mad? Will I die? Will I
harm others?
THIRD
REASON; My worst fear is this; I fear that I am becoming more
and more like the doughy little blobs they use to advertise
the drug on TV and in magazines. (THEY ARE SO FUCKING REPELLENT
TO ME!!!)This painting, (“THE CURE”, SUBMITTED TO
DA ON 09-06-2005) is a self-portrait cartoon of me being happily
thoughtless under the influence. I’m just one of “THE
CROWD”, of doughy white blobs, accepted and liked. However,
my round shape also ominously resembles one of BORIS BADINOFF’S
bombs, (From ROCKY & BULLWINKLE), which MIGHT go off in
a crowd if the fuse burns down.
My
advise; Think before you join this club. Think hard and long.
Perhaps I’ll see you in Stupidville?
You
can get a print of this painting on E-bay if you like it. I
am "vmaximus"
there. Or just e-mail me and I'll give you a deal; $30.00, post
included, (USA) - $40.00 in Europe.
... 10/12/2005 ...
I'm
going to start posting letters I receive from people that I
think in some way are interesting. At least now I'm painting
for a living, and not selling insurance or managing that horrible
Porno Company! You might think the latter is a glamorous job,
but believe me man, when the feces bullets start flying during
shooting, and the stupid girls lie and bitch about their pay,
and everyone stinks like a loathsome animal, all the so called
"glamour" fades away in a hurry! How I love sitting
alone and unmolested in my studio painting! This is my dream
realized ... ! The only thing that needs to go with it is a
"little" more money, because it is hard to make ends
meet sometimes. Not a complaint, a fact. I have several commissioned
works going, but I'm a perfectionist, and I tend to underestimate
the time it takes me to finish a painting. Enough of that ...
I'll figure it out. If you want to see some of the writings
I have done about recent paintings, THAT ARE NOT EVEN POSTED
YET HERE ON VOMITUS MAXIMUS, again due to time constraints,
(My wife is real sick too, so I must try to take care of her)
go see my gallery on DEVIENT
ART.COM, (CLICK
HERE). I have over 50 PAINTINGS that have not been posted
on this website, nor on deviant ... That have all been sold
on EBAY or to private collectors.
Here's
the first letter I will post. It's a nice letter somebody sent
me, and my reply. If you want to send me a letter, even a nasty
on, send it to connett@sbcglobal.net, (CLICK
HERE) ... There are e-mail links all over this fucking confusing
site. They should be working.
LETTER
TO ME 10/12/2005;
Hey
R.S.
I can say I see the state of the world as you do.
lol when something so Ridiculous is Accepted.
"Mainstream" Religion, Poilitical Power, Numbing of
the Masses, System BrainWash....Fuck.
I have hope for humanity's CREATIVE essance.
But hope is scarcley found.
FUCK IT. You know and I know Humanity is Fuckt.
But as JIM MORRISON said with Wisdom.
Imma Have my Kicks b4 the whole shithose goes down in flames!
Its interesting how "Pyschotic" (I like 2 define more
properly Mystical) xperiences Have so many similarites Nto MODERN
findings in QUANTUM PHYSICS.
Your latest rant perfectly described it.
Once they thought the Earth was flat.
Once they thought the Earth was the center of the Universe.
Once they thought the Material world was all in Existance.
Once they believed in GOD (creative force) as in the form of
MAN.
Once they called me crazy.....
As same as you.
Enjoy life Mr. Connett.
all we have is a blink of an eye.
MY
REPLY:
Hey
to you back ... Good letter, well said. Inspiring to me.
I try to enjoy life as you say - and I do, but not in the same
ways as I did earlier in my life. It seems like there was much
more "enjoyment" when I was in my youth. However,
that has been replaced with fulfillment and an almost obsessive
drive to create and express as much as I can before the eyelids
touch, and the blink is over.
I accept the changes that the years bring. It's not as important
to me to have "kicks" as it once was. I try to lead
a simple life, and endeavor to simplify it more and more. I
don't believe in much anymore accept myself. (my dog and my
wife are included, I believe in them)
I hope you'll let me place your name on my mailing list so I
can let you see what I'm going to do.
Thank you for the good letter!
RS ~
... 07/24/2005 ...
MICRO-ORGANISM
II
~ click to see large version ~
PAINTED
IN JUNE OF 2005, ACRYLIC ON CANVAS, 11” X 14”
We exist in an exquisite dance of symbiosis with our mother
planet. Upon us lives many parasites, and on them, many more.
There are tiny worlds of parasites, and upon them more, and
upon them, and on and on, ad infinitum … endlessly more
miniscule. It’s a chain of life that we seldom think upon.
In a solitary cell lives trillions of living things.
Eventually,
we arrive at the level of molecules and atoms. These tiny worlds
are only theoretical to most of us. “MICROORGANISM II”
is one on occupant of a ultra tiny theoretical world.
Consider
the possibility of a chain of inner universes reaching forever
into smaller and smaller spaces. Think of the definition of
small. No matter how small something is, something else can
be smaller. It has always been my belief that there are worlds
that we have not discovered living within the materials which
comprise the tiniest of structures.
It
is one thing to look upon the stars in the “outer”
universe and attempt to consider the vastness and incalculable
measure of infinity. I believe that same vastness exists within
us. We simply have not discovered it yet.
I
have faith that life of many kinds exist everywhere. Intelligence
that we can not comprehend and life so plentiful that every
being that your imagination can conjure indeed must exist. (Or
perhaps, by thinking of it, you cause it to exist?), This, in
my opinion is a “godlike” quality that we possess,
and perhaps the point of these words.
This
painting, The “Microorganism” is one idea of a being
that exists within one of my tiny universes. Because I believe
that life is so extensive that anything I can think of will
exist, I am sure that this one does exist. He lives inside me,
in the “dimensions of smallness”.
We
are all walking, talking universes. And in that way, perhaps
we fit one definition of God. Let this definition of God be
a sentient being who is a vessel for life other than itself.
We are like Gods to the beings that walk on the smaller worlds
within us, where they are also like Gods to the universes within
them.
Well,
shit … The vastness which exists in “existence”
is far beyond my ability to understand. I’m just making
this up. I make everything up. Only lies are interesting. And
besides, that’s all you usually get anyway, “prevarication”.
Just turn on your TV, or fire up your computer.
Everything
I am is made up. The older I get, the less I know about everything.
However, I do see that a lot more “everything” exists
than I once had seen. Is this wisdom, or the growing knowledge
of my infinite foolishness? I’m not sure. Perhaps you
have some idea.
However,
I do seem to believe in the power of belief. That is, if you
believe something, then you can make it happen. Or it does happen.
Or it has already happened. This I have seen many times. Things
thought impossible have been made “real” by those
who believe. So, believe what you will, and it will somehow
become so. However, be careful of what you choose to believe.
There are always “strings attached”
Maybe
that’s how things work. If you care to ponder it. Maybe
belief, (faith), is what makes us GOD like. We can create our
own worlds by what we believe our world to be. What you believe
is the world you get. If you believe in micro-organisms, then
they will exist.
~ RS
... 06/15/2005 ...
A
BRIBE FROM THE WICKED POPE
(Click inage to see larger images)
It
is said that The most Evil pope was Benedict VIII (1294-1303).
who was so horrible that Dante had him dragged through all three
chapters of the Divine Comedy only to be viciously condemned
at the end.
If
there’s a vision I see in this painting, or any statement
I think I am making, it is a mocking barb at the hypocrisy of
the Christian Church on Earth. This may be a mistake for me.
I am of many minds on this subject. However, when The Pope (The
NEW pope, Joseph Ratzinger, who has taken the name “POPE
BENEDICT XVI) says that one of his foremost goals of the papacy
will be to spread the word that man may see eternal life ONLY
through the belief that Jesus Christ is the “ONE AND ONLY
TRUE SAVIOR, AND ONLY WAY TO GOD” It makes me feel like
my personal struggle with faith is weakened by this fellow.
So, if he weakens my faith, must that not mean that he is doing
“the devils work”, by his own definition, and that
of his church? How can this be right?
In
this, our “modern” time, not to say that we are
so advanced or enlightened, for I hardly believe that!, is it
not obvious that his statement is impossible? If any God exists
or not? What kind of message is that? What is it’s purpose?
What intention can such a great lie conceal?
So
what made Pope Benedict VIII so evil? I can say only misuse
of his power. That can mean many things, and many of you will
jump to some horrific conclusions. Being of the demographic
that most of you fall in, it is “open season” on
the hypocrisies of Christianity. So, let your minds trod through
what horrors your imaginations can manufacture, but please,
do not lose my point.
For
me, death is a serious thing. As dark shadow of death grows
ever nearer, I feel his cold breath upon my neck. I wonder what
it will be. What will death be? Will I simply cease to exist
because all life is actually only an accident of substances,
and there is nothing beyond the grave? Or, will I sit and be
judged for the things I have done in my life by a great court
of luminous angels constructed in the light of God’s creation?
Or, will I pass on to another vessel that will contain the essence
of my existence, to live again, a foolish creature in one more
of a googolplex X googolplex of existences until someday I become
GOD? As those I love die around me, the smell of death is always
in my nostrils. I am reminded on my own impending death, and
I admit that I fear it. Death is always a horror.
OH,
but there I go off on a small tangent to the subject at hand.
The connection being that it is so difficult to think clearly
about the reality of death with every fool shouting in your
ear that “I KNOW THE TRUTH!”. I wonder who among
the living really knows ANYTHING about the dead?
In
this painting I show the WICKED POPE offering up a bribe to
the devil for more power here on Earth. God forgive me if I
am wrong, but this is how I see it. A struggle for power on
Earth of men who doubt their own beliefs. This painting is an
absurdity, (And some will say a blasphemy) It is as absurd as
saying you shall not have immortality except through Jesus Christ.
If only this Pope would give credibility to the other religions
of the world, then I would feel differently.
Comments
on my ART or WRITING should be posted on MY PAGE at DEVIANTART.COM
Please Click Here
(spammers killed the guestbook!)
... 03/06/2005 ...
FROM
AN UNNAMED PERSON:
You seriously want a gun...or were you just in a bad mood
on this day like mainly all the rest?...I just email you because
I feel like I can relate...If you ever email me back, Im sorry
if I annoyed you...Its just nice to read these things that I
can relate to...even about killing the animals and stuff...anyways
You probably just delete my emails because I would assume you
get plenty from people who like your work. anyways have a nice
day/night connet.
MY
REPLY:
Yes, I was in a mood. I was in a bad mood. And
as you very accurately pointed out; “ like mainly all
the rest” And No, I read all my mail - and I appreciate
all of the letters I receive ... good, bad, unintelligent, clever.
None of those words mean anything ... doesn't matter. What matters
is interaction.
I did get a gun, and I have a gun. I have a
few guns. However, those words you refer to, my old words, seem
small to me now, self indulgent and shallow. I doubt I'd have
the balls to pull the trigger on anyone other than myself, and
even that is in question. Much of what I have written seems
trite and immature to me, especially "rants" about
my anger with the implication of my superiority. I look back
at my words of "righteous indignation" against those
invisible villains in the shadows, and I am embarrassed at my
foolishness. The ones who control our lives without conscience
or remorse. It may be true – but it’s also silliness.
OF COURSE we are all controlled by those higher up on the food
chain. To not understand that is to be naive. And who do you
control? We are all controlled and controllers. But that’s
just about people, and ALL people are controlled by the whims
of nature.
The truth is, we are alone and subject to the
compassion of a merciless universe. We are infinitely smaller
and less significant than the smallest thing any of us has the
power to conceive.
If you are reading this, you probably have a
“good” life. If you are thinking about “ART”
or “POETRY” and the “higher things”,
and not rummaging through garbage to eat, you are among the
.00001% elite of the world. What is your complaint? No BIG SCREEN?
Need a better car – computer? Tell that to the 8 year
old boy who after losing his dirt floor village parents in the
Thailand tsunami, is about to be sold into prostitution. He
will die of A.I.D.S. when he’s 10. He won’t know
what the fuck you are talking about.
I say now, today, to you and to me, the thing
to do is appreciate the things that we have and that we know
are good, and to build upon them.
People from the western civilizations live in
fear of fear, A grim social experiment never before seen in
the evolution of any animal from this world. Brought about by
greed. We are creating a world of fear, doubt and self loathing
so powerful that we have little time to cherish this we do not
understand called life.
Unless we understand death, how can we possibly
understand what life is? And who can DARE tell me that they
understand death? I would love to hear about it.
Our anger and fear can be used as fuel to elevate
more of the same, which is normal, the standard reaction. Or
anger can harnessed as would be a powerful horse, to plow a
field. And in that field you can plant seeds of intelligence.
That is why I paint my demons. I trap my devils on canvas …
I can foretell the future and even change the course of it when
I find the power and use it! This is how I turn shit into gold.
And it’s hard because I’d rather take the easy way
out and kill someone. Every day I’m tempted to violence.
And every day I pray to whatever God may be listening that I
can find the strength to avoid the temptation to violence. Even
at my age my mind burns with a furry that I must somehow control.
Negative energy is the most powerful and most
difficult energy to control. It wants to feed itself and kill
its host like a cancer. To be strong enough to turn that negativity
into a work of art, or a song or a building, or even a simple
act of positive action is a titanic feat – Only a brave
person can dare try that. It’s SO much easier to destroy
than to build – so much easier to make ugliness than beauty.
Easy to point fingers and say it is “THEM!” …
No, it’s “US”.
Who do you know who is not a fool? And any fool
knows the difference, deep inside. What is wrong and what is
right. Your nucleus knows the difference. I got my guns and
my bullets, and I stare at them feeling like a sniveling castrated
asswipe, too afraid NOT to pull the trigger.
Thanks for writing ... Hope you like my artwork.
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