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Mysterious Bag of Stench Good Vibrations ; In a society of nameless faceless non-individualism we make ourselves numb in order to compensate for the emotional pain caused by our lack of belonging and inability to be unique. This compensation often manifests itself by us seeking intense sensations: We intoxicate ourselves with alcohol and other drugs. We build machines that propel our minds faster and faster into a infinite nowhere, an endless man made 5th dimension called cyberspace ... And others turn to self mutilation. We tattoo yourselves, we pierce, we brand, we amputate and we slice, yet STILL we are not satisfied. Some of us must inflict intense sensations upon others to feel that we are more than just an abstract idea. As time goes on, and the populations of the world increase, we become more a society of sadists, masochists and 'nonists'. We love to watch ourselves being torn to bits almost as much as we enjoy seeing others brutalized. We, as a people, LOVE to see our fellows shot, stabbed, bludgeoned and blown up. "Not true", you say? Just turn on your TV. The Roman coliseum is alive and well! ... In our age, we can all be the 'Caesar'! And the actors who die for the glory of our new Rome teach our children that killing is an act as natural as eating or shitting, only with less consequence. What is disseminated in the media IS what we accept as reality. How could our mundane existence away from our favorite TV shows possibly be our real lives? That is unacceptable! NO! TV is the 'real' reality! However, when most of us can not live up to the images and standards set by the 'TV reality' we become confused. Our confusion leads to fear, our fear leads to displaced anger. We lash out, or we turn inward. We become suicidal or homicidal. We are becoming a society of homicidal psychopaths and suicides. So enjoy your life... Sit back, have a beer, and watch your reality unfold on the tube. The rest of life sucks.
This is a picture of my Great Grandmother 'NETTIE CONNETT', taken from the Portland Post obituaries, circa 1964. Ever wonder what kind of confused genetic soup spawns the likes of yours truly? Well, to gain great insight into the 'CLAN of CONNETT', click Great Grandma Connett's picture below!
From the Portland Post obits, 1964: "Death Monday claimed Nettie Loraine Connett, 84, friend of loggers and governors, a woman of independent spirit who 'took to the woods' in 1910 above Bull Run ... click here to read more.
This is the kind of shit J. Stile gets in his e-mail. = Nazi hate punk death threat movie If you don't know who he is check out his site ...
This is good ... Ugly people are so much more interesting than 'pretty' ones ...
Click here to read how so many of the paintings in this museum got burned.
This is from my guestbook ... Feel free to contribute ... Dear I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing from Mongolia and asking favour from you kindly. I am sorry for my long letter. I am a lecturer at Mongolian Technical University.My wife is studying at Texas Wesleyan University in Fort Worth,TX,USA. She is a new graduate student and awarded Mongolian Government Scholarship. We married 8 months ago. She invited me. She is missing me and we love each others. I have no chance to be with my wife for half year because of economic poverity in Mongolia. Mongolia is one of the underdeveloped poorest countries in the World. Annual cross domestic income per person is $300. We are suffering, I never realized it would be this much pain for us. Fortunately, there is an opportunity. If I meet generous people, that could support me by living expense in USA, totally $4800, approximately $800 each month, we will have nice opportunity to complete our wish. Please, would you help me for finding financial support? If IÕll a support and IÕll arrive the my wife, then I can participate active in your organizationÕs activity and IÕll helper. Thank you for your kindness . God bless you all. I am looking forward hearing from you. Sincerely Bayanmunkh Sodnomtseren email: bayansod@csms.edu.mn bayansod@usa.net ph:976-99196723 P.O Box#133,Ulaanbaatar-210646 Mongolia my answer Dear Bayanmunkh ... Your pathetic story has touched me deeply. After reading it I wept for several minutes. So effected am I by your story that I have decided that I will offer you and your beautiful young wife employment here at my home in downtown El Segundo California. You will be my personal man servant. I will reward you with full room and board for your labors. Your duties will include laundering my cloths, washing my Mercedes Benz, cleaning my toilets and attending to the other necessities of my home. Your dear wife will attend to my more personal needs. She can massage my sore muscles, rub my feet and suck on my penis and testicles. She will be in charge of bathing me and dressing me. She will also be my personal 'toilet girl.' She will wipe my ass and make sure that my genitals are always clean. I will sire many more 'helpers' with her. She will bare many fine servants for myself and my family. Perhaps, if she is fertile enough, we can sell the extra tiny helpers to other employers I know. There will be plenty of rice to eat and a room with a mattress in my basement for you. I have sent the air fare and you should be receiving it soon. I will have you picked up at the LA airport on 09/18. All the details are with the ticket. God bless you Bayanmunkh, (Is that pronounced 'BAY-MUNCH?) ... I look forward to our new life together. ... RS Connett Here's why I drink ... I've suspected this for a long time. Now my suspicions have been confirmed by a reliable source ... The following is an excerpt from this month's Forbes Magazine: A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained, or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. ÊThus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. ÊThe result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates. ÊOnly those few who stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieve during their college years. ÊSo, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge, we must not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars. Quaff that pint. Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have. Take life by the bottle and be all that you can be. Evidently the guy in this next article I found doesn't drink enough ... Prisoner in agony after sex experiment: A Romanian man who wanted to celebrate getting out of jail with a marathon sex session injected himself with petroleum jelly to enlarge his genitals. Cosmil Deliu, 25, who was serving a four-year sentence for theft in the prison in Craiova said he had heard the jelly was good for sex - but had misunderstood how to use it. Prison officers say the man injected himself six times causing his penis to grow to a length of 20 centimeters and a width of 9 centimeters but his experiments were noticed when he collapsed in pain. Deliu is in hospital in Tirgu Jiu while doctors decide how to relieve his acute pain.
Wednesday: 8/23/00: An addendum to the preceding commentary from 08/21/00; Seems I went off on this guy, 'ap', (I'm still not sure it's a guy), based upon my complete misunderstanding of his/her original guestbook message. The case I make about the limitations of our written language are eloquently proven in this situation; I assumed I knew EXACTLY what AP was referring to in his guestbook entry, and what I thought it meant yanked my chain hard enough to inspire a seven paragraph semi-tirade. It turns out that I was DEAD wrong. The fact is he was putting me down for an entirely different reason than I perceived ... Something I really don't give a fuck about. Perhaps it was a constructive criticism ... and that's OK ... I should expect criticisms and put-downs if I'm going to lay my thoughts and feelings out for public consumption. So bring it on ... do your worst ... Tear me up! I stand by my bullshit, I am my bullshit, and occasionally my truth. The shit I layed on AP I retract, because it was for the wrong reason. To witness my humiliating and pathetic, yet sincere, public apology click here and go to Thursday, August 17, 2000 at 13:23:57 for 'ap's initial entry ... you can follow the trail from there if you're interested.
Monday: 8/21/00: I submit, (unaltered), for your consideration the following entry in my guestbook dated 8/17/00 from an 'ap'; "rants and raves? what the fuck? argh, i guess connettt however smart doesn't recognize his own idiotcy." ... Well, I appreciate that kindly remark about 'however smart' ... (I guess he/she/it was calling me 'smart', right?), but it did make me feel bad. AP has a point, what right do I have to idiotically express myself!? To make matters worse, I had just listened to a narration by Joe Frank who pointed out how really insignificant rants and raves about our lives are ... I don't recall the exact figures, and I'm too lazy to look them up, (feel free to correct me), but here's the gist of it; Our lives occupy a period of time so infinitesimal compared to the measurement of time that we think we know, it is beyond us to conceive how short a period of time that is ... And although we try to seem so big and important, we actually take up a teeny tiny part of our planet, a planet being one of several in ONLY one solar system contained in ONLY one galaxy which contains billions of solar systems. And our galaxy is only one of BILLIONS of galaxies. We have measured our Galaxy, and it would take, (according to Joe F.), almost 200,000 years JUST to cross it at the speed of light, about 175,000 miles per second. So, these facts and 'ap's comments made me feel just like he tried to say, 'idiotic', for 'ranting'. AP felt a need to point out what a fucking idiot I am for writing about my personal feelings and reactions to my daily grind ... and he's SO right! It's all so fucking meaningless, why do I take time to whine about it? Why not just kill myself? Why? Because I'm afraid that the visions I see in my head are parts of my personnel HELL waiting for my demise! ESPECIALLY if I kill myself ... because that would be a MORTAL sin! (I was brought up as an atheist in a Catholic neighborhood in San Francisco). It also occurs to me, If I am not worthy to express myself in this manner, then by AP's own inference, his opinion is also of no valid significance. So I agree with you dear AP, you and I are worth some number smaller that our combined intellects are able to comprehend. I invite you to join my personal gang of idiots, the human race! And thanks to the guy who made an entry in the book directly after him commenting; "to the idiot that posted last....wake up dickhead...no T in that big hard word you just tryed to spell...god thats funny...an idiot calling someone else an idiot and not knowing how to spell it...too funny. no wonder Connett draws and paints pictures of people getting gutted...hehhee" That really IS pretty fucking funny ... at least we have that ... a sense of humor. Since taking things seriously is evidently a waste of time, perhaps our only recourse is to laugh at ourselves, or at least other people who are less fortunate. Something else about my writing; ALL my artwork is the SAME THING as these occasional little ravings; The pictures are a constant raving and ranting with pens and pencils and paintbrushes and any thing else I can use. Here we have an excellent example of how inadequate our language really is; AP has no problem with my artwork, yet is evidently turned off by my writing which is the same damn thing, just created with an inferior tool; human language. My paintings and drawings are really no more than the direct registrations of my emotional states, often anger, astonishment, frustration ... and pathetic whining self pity. I feel trapped by the need to constantly strive to survive at the expense of the things that I feel justify my existence ... and things I enjoy doing. In a nutshell: I HATE doing ANYTHING I DO NOT WANT to do! Everything else pisses me off! OK, now saying what I just said is bullshit, it's trite. However, when I draw a picture of how I feel torn apart by my inability to avoid doing things I don't want to do, it's acceptable to people like AP It's OK because the viewer sees him or herself in the artwork, and thus, can identify with the feeling. Too bad language isn't so eloquent ... So, THANK YOU AP for being an assbyte and making me feel insecure. I deserve it, and I appreciate it! Without ignorant and negative attacks like yours I might not be able to feel badly enough about myself to be driven to create art. Then I'd be a worthless mushroom worthy only of extermination. ... 08/16/2000 ... Three more images and a new interface for the 'Psyco Scribble' Gallery ... Click the Image below.
Tuesday, 8/8: Sometimes I can communicate with words ... other times I can not. Today was a frustrating lesson in 'non-communication' Today's 'Psycho Scribble', (click here, then on 08/08/00), done as usual, while I spoke on the phone, captured my feelings about how my communication skills were working. NOT well. Sometimes I feel like I'm yelling through a plastic bag! Why don't you understand me? We talk and talk and Yak our fucking heads off until our lips bleed and our jaws ache. My ears swell and hurt from the phone receiver. My stomach twists into knots and my palms perspire as I try my damnedest to communicate to others ideas and concepts that seem so simple to me ... WHY can I not get my ideas across? Why does no one have the information or the answers which I seek? Is everybody out there so fucking dumb that they can't even understand ME!? We think we have a advanced language. But if you ask me it is not much better than the grunts and chest thumping of our distant ancestors. Come to think of it, those simple growls and grunts probably left a lot less to the imagination than our complex sounds. If I was a fucking cave man I would probably understand very clearly if some other guy wanted to steal my brontoburger ... With today's language such things are not always as clear. Try communicating with a bank or an insurance company, or God help you, a computer technician! ... I think I'd rather go grunting with apes. I'm certain that I would be better understood. Fuck our language! It doesn't work! Check
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Psycho Scribble of the day! Click here.
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